The Blessing Before the Storm
I have always believed that there is a blessing in almost every situation. This is a debatable statement for people that do not understand where or how to find the blessing, but that is my belief and I have never faltered. If you have been following my story you know the love David and I had was amazing and his death was tragic for me. So where are those blessings I speak of so often?
July 6, 2020 was the beginning of the end for so many things in our lives. It was the day before David’s life would change and the actual day my new future would begin.
We were in the middle of a lengthy remodel on our house and in May, while hanging green rock on the ceiling, David’s neck started to hurt and naturally we assumed that the messed up discs in his neck were messed up again. He made an appointment with his neck doctor and it was later canceled due to not being necessary with the pandemic.
The only appointments not canceled were with his oncologist. David was originally diagnosed in 2017 and we were told the melanoma had not spread so these were mainly precautionary. He had an appointment the first week of July and told his doctor about his neck. His oncologist said he was due for a brain MRI so we would have one done and rule that out. David’s appointment was made for the afternoon of July 6th.
My July 6th consisted of an interview at another school in my district. I really wanted this job for many reasons (none of which matter anymore) and I was nervous and excited. So I prayed to God that His will be done, and I felt peace about it either way. My interview was late morning and by early afternoon I got the call that they wanted to hire me, at the same time David was having his MRI. I wasn't nervous about the MRI since I thought he was fine, so I relished in my new adventure. I thanked God for this answered prayer with little understanding of how big of a role this would play in His plan.
In later posts, I will go into details on some aspects of the rest of the week but here is a synopsis: July 7th we were at the brain doctor’s office as he explained David had four spots on his brain. July 8th our twin grandsons turned 2 so we were so excited to Facetime them (due to Covid). July 9th we were on our way to pre-op when David’s daughter called and was hysterical. She had just found out that her baby had something wrong and was told he wouldn’t survive. July 10th was the day of David’s brain biopsy at the same time his son was getting married. And that was also the day the return of his cancer was confirmed.
Tragedy-blessing-Tragedy-blessing, one of the worst weeks of our lives with a sprinkle of happy here and there.
So one week after getting my dream job, I ventured up to my new school under the pretense of getting my keys but in reality I was going to tell them my situation and allow them to hire someone else with less obligations and distractions. I managed to get out what was going on and nicely told them that if they wanted to hire someone else I would completely understand and no hard feelings. Now here is where my blessing begins…
My principal and assistant principal both looked at me and I will never forget their words “We are a family here, but your family is more important. Do what you have to do to take care of your family. Your job will be here.” I still tear up and cry when I think of this day.
David passed in August, on the day before I was due to report back to work. I had to miss that week and a half of team building, planning, training and preparing for the new year. I really felt that my team must think I am a burden and I was so worried, this job wasn’t happy anymore.
But when I finally went to work I just stood in shock. My room was done, my plans were done, my Meet the Teacher stuff was done. There were cards and flowers and everyone was so kind and caring. Remember I never met most of them and only met my team once. But the love they showed me probably saved me in so many ways. I am not a seasoned enough writer to express how much this meant to me and how it made me feel. Or there just aren’t words to describe this level of compassion. I kept hearing over and over, “we are family here” “we take care of each other” “you are one of us now”. Here I go crying again.
Three years later I have never been happier at any job. I have never had better leadership than my principal and I have never felt like I belong at any other job like I feel I belong there. The kids make me smile and give me purpose. I never knew what a difference this could make in my life, even under the circumstances.
But God knew, He knew David’s cancer was back and He knew I needed these people more than they needed me. He knew that they would love me through it all and I would be okay. More than that, He knew this is where I needed to be to survive. That day my prayer for His will to be done had already been done, He knew.
Now I am sitting here crying harder, not because I am sad or in pain but because God loves me that much. He loves me enough to provide what I didn’t even know I would need: a new purpose in my new life. But the bigger blessing is being able to recognize that this was His plan all along. And through the tears that makes me smile : )
Find your blessing everyday. Find something everyday to make you smile and give you a purpose. Find a blessing in blessing someone else. I pray all the time for God to bless everyone else as much as He blesses me. So I KNOW there is a blessing in your day! Because He loves you as much as He loves me.
